Dear Dr. Dogan
Issue#1, May, 1998
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Ehek! Ano ako tangek? Ba't kita bibigyan ng payo??? Anong akala mo sa 'kin? German Moreno? Buti sana kung kamag-anak kita!
Ayp! Loko lang ha! Joke lang talaga ha!!! Baka hindi ka na sumulat ulit eh... Siyempre nga naman... that is the main reason why DDD has been made... to cure the wounds set by undeniable faith... uhuhuhu... it makes me cry...
First of all... by the way you tell the story, it seems that you're a pretty attractive 'gal. So don't waste it. Sino ba 'yang ex mo na 'yan? si "X"??? bah... kumag na "X" talaga 'yan ahh... tsk tsk... sino-solo na nga niyan lahat ng chics sa irc tapos pati ikaw? Grabe... well... ofcourse iI won't tell you that there are still a lot of guys out there which are better thatn k'se... super gas-gas na'yong linyang 'yon! Also... I couldn't tell you to do something against him because it also seems that you two are still somewhat friends... and by the looks of it... you still like him... eh? Quite right 'di ba?
Well then, man hater or not, you're still quite a chic and whether you like it or not... hunks would still come knocking at you're door. So... just something to ease things up... err.. you could try to listen to Lymphd Biscuit's song, "Nobody Loves Me". Grabe... i'm not saying that nobody loves you, infact... a lot of ppl love you! It's just that it's a pretty cool song and I know that you'd like it from the very moment you listen to it... it goes a little something like this, "Nobody loves mweeeeeeeeee... Nobody cares....... AAARGH!!!!!! Groougggggghhh!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" an a little more scream and that's it. Hehehe... cool noh?
Ayon... so you're problem is that you're pretty much afraid of having a relationship eh? So... it just so happens that you are in THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DOGAN now (hala... lagot ka!)... and in here... Dogan's got an answer to everything... err... except long mathematical question... so... for that problem... I got DOGAN'S LAW OF PAGKAKAPANGANAK (err... don't expect this to help... this might just make things worse). What does that law mean? DOGAN'S LAW OF PAGKAKAPANGANAK clearly states that... you are born what you are... if you are like that from the start... then you're like that forever... just look at me? Argh! Hopeless love...yeniwey... ayon... so if you're just not blessed with love like mwa... you can just forget about it... but I don't think that 'yer hopeless... and you have been pretty lucky during the start... right? I think that you and your ex started with a very nice realtionship except that something terribly ewan happened which broke the two of you.
Also... try to finish FF7... grabe... antagal!!!! Argh!!! Then, when you have finished it... please be kind enough to sell me the memory card... for a very cheap price... as in cheap ha!
Well then... that's all fer now beloved ppl!
If nobody loves you... I do! ---this is addressed to everyone ha!
Sheth! Ang Cute Ni D'arcy !!!!!!